Well, a simple perusal of the calendar has revealed that the Earth has once again been busy in completing it's circuitous route around the center of our erstwhile solar system. (With the status of so many planets still in flux, you never know.) And while we tend to live our lives under the glaring rays of this enlightened era it seems only yesterday that even suggesting that the Solar System was heliocentric was the worst kind of heresy.
Yes, indeed. Man has long prided himself on being the most clever of God's creations and we have made many leaps and bounds in vast areas of knowledge and learning but we can still sometimes cling to the most outrageous of concepts. And the friendly calendar on my wall has caused to me to reflect darkly on one of them even now.
I certainly hope that nobody will be shocked by the apparent apostasy of suggesting that the much-vaunted and revered St. Valentine's Day is a ruse in every way.
In fact, nobody, either within or without the Roman Catholic Church, (genuflect when you say that) really knows for sure if a Saint Valentine ever existed at all. And I, for one, long to believe that he never existed and that everything this ridiculous day has come to represent will be utterly erased from the minds of men before another day passes.
A little extreme? Perhaps. But we all have our own scars and I have always had a tendency to wear mine on my sleeve. I'm sure that we can all agree that the sickly-sweet image that Hallmark has developed for this day is just this side of pathetic and we all know better than to buy into the lie. Or do we?
The first celebration of the feast of St. Valentine's Day was held in 469 AD. Now that's a mighty long time ago by any standard, unless, of course, we're talking about the standard of human stupidity. But wait; stupidity seems to have no upper limit in this instance. It was Pope Gelasius the First who decreed this feast and his quote for this auspicious occasion was as follows: "Saint Valentine is one whose name is justly reverenced by men but whose acts are known only to God." So basically this renegade Pope just decided that there should be another feast so he invented a "Saint" who, apparently, was known only to God, and it's never been thought wise to question the Big Guy when it comes to things like Saints. But luckily the Stupidity Factor kicked in and everyone ate the concept up all over the world. But then I guess that the Catholics have a way of ignoring the facts when it comes to believing in what the Pope says, or when slaughtering entire populations of innocent people. Isn't it rather curious how often those two concepts coincide?
But I digress. The point here was to revile and belittle the whole concept of Valentine's Day in general. And I know that I, like most of you hopefully, can't help but feeling a little sickened every time I have to see the bare ass of some cherubic cartoon that supposes to be the representation of Cupid blithely firing arrows hither and yon in the vain hope of bringing Love to some simpering idiot who couldn't find it on his own.
Love is, after all, a slippery thing at best and feeling it or believing in it or even wanting it or working for it cannot insure its arrival in your life. And, like so much else in the realm of twisted, interpersonal human relationships, it can be easily promised and just as easily taken away when the mood strikes the less evolved members of our Great Society. These are the sick bastards who neither understand nor feel Love and, trust me; there are more of them than there are of you. These freaks are like robots to whom nothing has any real meaning at all much less such an out-dated concept as Love.
But here we are nonetheless, forced by a gang of ruthless flacks in the employ of the mass media, paranoia-based mind control and youth-oriented product placement army, left to think that "Love" has its own Special Day every year. Yes. Never mind showing Love by your daily actions or when you speak or in the sacrifices you make or in the deepest emotional center of your being or even by swearing a life-long loyalty to the one person whose life and happiness you value above your own; To Hell with that. Just stop off at your favorite shop on the way home and pick up a humorless card and some Mylar balloons and maybe a pair of edible panties to tell them how you really feel.
Now that's Love, Baby.
So, if you're like me, you'll hunker down in some place quiet and let this Valentine's Day pass just like any other. And you'll try to forget the Lie of Love and let things settle down and get back to normal.
But, just like me, you'll find your way to the local tavern where they'll be throwing the annual "Anti-Valentine's Day" party where all the spry, young singles can get together and pretend that it's not so bad to have shattered dreams and an empty heart. And, again like me, you'll find it to be peopled with a cluster of human chancres so foul that it wouldn't surprise anybody to learn that this gang of emotional cripples never found Love.
And maybe, just maybe, we'll all finally get lucky.